progress is good

so this was a big weekend for me!  first of all i wake up sunday morning to find out i have finally reached the 10lb weight loss mark.  and since i didn't do much on saturday, i decided to get a swim in sunday.  i was itching for a good swim since my last two outings were not very good.  and i did great, swam 30 laps!  with less rest time in between each lap also. the max i rested was probably 30 seconds, most being between 10 and 20 secs, and when i could i did two consecutively.  still working on that, its tough.  but 30 laps is more than the length of what i have to swim in the tri.  so i was quite happy with that :)  


now if you want to hear a funny yet totally disgusting story, continue reading this paragraph.  if not, you should skip.  so although i am improving with my swimming, i am still getting the breathing coordination thing down, and every once in a while i swallow some water.  which in and of itself totally disgusts me given my hatred for public pools.  so yesterday i swallow a huge gulp of water at the end of a lap, start to gag, and then throw up in my mouth.  now, i can't spit it back into the pool, and i'm in the middle of the lanes, where there is no ladder, so to swim to a ladder and then run to a bathroom would've taken way too long with puke in my mouth.  sooo i had to swallow it.  absolutely disgusting.  other than that little snafu the swimming was good :)  aren't you glad you continued reading???  


ANYWAYS, for dinner sunday night mike made his famous zuppe di pesce, which is amazing.  and he gets this fabulous italian bread from wegman's.  plus my father in law brings over two pies, donuts and black and white cookies.  (for 6 friggin adults btw.  excessive???  and you wonder why we all have weight problems!)  my point is that i only had one piece of that wonderful bread, and NONE of the desserts.  damn proud of myself i was.  i probably could've had a small piece of dessert, but now that i'm seeing denise on mondays, and she weighs me, i wanted to still be at that 10lb mark.  and i wanted to prove to myself that i can say no.  i def think that seeing her on mondays is going to be really good for me.  it will keep me more accountable on the weekends.  in the past i have had a bad habit of doing good during the week and then ruining it all on the weekends.  AND what reward did i get for my awesome behavior on sunday night???  loss of another 1.5 lbs!!   woo-hoo!  so i'm down almost 12.  


now, yesterday, when i weighed myself, and saw i had lost the 10, initially i was excited of course.  but in my usual self-sabotaging way, i start to have fleeting thoughts like, oh big deal, you have so much more to lose, you're still really fat, blah blah blah.  however, i am managing these thoughts much better than usual.  its crazy how something positive can be turned into something negative in the blink of an eye with me.  i am definitely awful to myself.  but like i said i think i am handling these thoughts ok, and trying to remind myself that yes, i still have a long road ahead, but as long as i don't sabotage myself, i will continue to make progress and eventually i will be where i want to be.  so mentally this is what i'm working on...with each step forward, not to take 3 steps back.  


also, thanks to people who make comments on my posts.  since i only have like 5 followers haha, i always comment back when someone leaves one.  so if you have made one, check back because i probably left one back for you.  thanks again to my friends and family for all your support!