laaazzzyyyyy!

ugh so i sat around and did jack shit while abby was at school today!  not even a lick of housework.  oh wait, i put chicken in the crockpot.  there, i did something!  but i will get my butt to the gym later this evening. i really hate working out at night, but i have left myself no choice today.  sooo need someone to light a fire under my ass this week!!  


on a brighter note i lost another 1.8 lbs, so 15 lbs in total!  

need sleepy

i am so incredibly exhausted but i am just going to write a few quick things.  definitely having a tough time with my motivation this week!!  i don't know what it is!  i mean, i haven't been sleeping that great for some reason, so its making me tired during the day.  i just did not want to work out today at all.  idk, maybe its just normal.  i guess i am not going to be all pumped to work out every day.  it's definitely hard to keep up the pace sometimes.  5-6 days per week at the gym isn't easy to do week after week.  and i actually feel like i need to step up my workouts a bit.  not more often, but more intensity when i am working out.  but i'm soooooo friggin tired!  probably just a small rut.  i swam and biked today.  my swimming felt sloppy, but i managed to get 26 laps in.  bike was a little slow at first but i got a second wind about 15 minutes in and finished strong.  who knows, maybe i just need a good night of sleep.  that would probably help!  so i'm going to bed now, and hopefully i will get some much needed sleep so i get a good run in tomorrow!

another monday, another ass-kicking!

denise kicked my ass today.  end of story.  and i almost cancelled on her like 20 times!  i was still a little sore and feeling like wussing out haha, and i knew denise would not give a crap if i was tired and sore.  and what a surprise, she didn't give a crap!!  as she shouldn't :)  bike, run, and another crazy strength training circuit.  i literally rolled off of the ball onto the floor, and finally she ended the torture.  we had a good laugh though because she was having me do these leg lifts on the ball and i couldn't lift my leg and kept falling and then i would start laughing and she would start laughing.  anything to buy me a few seconds of rest :)  so provided i can move tomorrow i will swim and bike.  


and can we pleeeaaassseee get some nice friggin weather so i can start biking outside??  i'm so tired of the cold :(  

frozen butt

i forgot to say my funny story in my post yesterday.  after the race i kept telling mike how frozen my butt felt, and he thought i was crazy.  so on the car ride home, i turned on the seat heater, thinking it would help.  my ass was so cold i couldn't even feel the heat!  i actually thought it wasn't working.  it was about a 40 minute drive home and i never really felt the heat coming from the seat.  so later on when we went out again, the heater switch was still on, and the heat was so hot i had to turn it down.  i was like, holy shit, how frozen was my ass earlier, the seat got so hot right now i had to turn it down, but earlier i couldn't even feel it!  anyway i thought that was funny.  


pretty tired and sore today, so just resting up.  have my training tomorrow.  

who walks during a 5k???

big day today that definitely boosted my spirits!  had the 5k this morning and ran the whole race!  it was fucking cold too, but the sun was shining and it really was a beautiful course.  it started at bar A, went through the neighborhood, went around a lake and down by the shore, then back thru the neighborhood to end at bar A.  I didn't even know there was a lake in belmar haha.  definitely want to go back down there when the weather gets nicer.    the lake was pretty big, and i remember being on the one side, looking to the other side and thinking there was no way i was going to make it continuously running.  but my competitive nature took over and decided there was no way in hell i was stopping.  plus it helps when there are other people around you, you tell yourself ok, i should be going faster than that person, they're fat/old so you need to pass them, etc.  however, towards the end, there was a girl that was walking close to me, and i was jogging and could not pass her!!  finally i pulled away but it took a little while.  the whole time i was thinking, helloooo, this girl next to you is WALKING.  you need to go a little faster!  granted she was speed walking, but jeesh i need to be running faster than a walking pace!  the end was tough though.  my legs were starting to get heavy, my chest was feeling tight, and i literally started talking to myself out loud.....c'mon, you can do this, finish it, only a couple more blocks.  some guy passed me, laughed and gave me the thumbs up haha.  then i saw mike walking back towards me and he ran with me the rest of the way encouraging me to keep going!  that was awesome.  so my final time was 41:23.  not great, and you do lose a little time at the start before the crowd disperses, but its ok, i ran the whole thing which was what i really wanted.  of course i had to complain a little to mike later on in the day i was disappointed in my time.  he just tells me i should shut up and be happy with myself for once :)  


so overall great first event in this training process.  next sunday i have my first tri taste.  the Y is doing a mini-tri.  10 laps, 6 miles on the bike and 2 miles running on the treadmill.  should be fun, and it'll keep me motivated to have a good week.  


oh, and regarding my comment about passing "old" people, there was a 61 year old man who finished in 24 minutes, and a 66 year old woman who finished in 33 minutes.  that is awesome!!  

hangin' in

well almost the end of another week.  this was kind of a slow one for me.  i know i have been focusing a bit on some emotional stuff and not talking about my work-outs that much.  last week after i did my 5k outside, my inner-thigh started hurting, and then of course my little drunken tom cruise slide into my family room did not help it much!  so by monday it was feeling a little better, and i decided to give running a try on the treadmill.  did 2 great miles, straight running, and then pain.  tried to run thru it but it wasn't happening.  i walked for a little more, then stretched really well afterwards.  tuesday would've been a swim/bike day but i was afraid to bike, so i just swam.  did really well, 28 laps, and getting a little faster with my strokes.  wednesday i had denise, and when she heard about my leg she would not let me run, so we did the bike and a CRAZY circuit!  denise is nuts i swear, but i love her :)  today my leg was a bit sore so i just did the elliptical for 35 minutes.  reason i'm being so easy this week is because i have that 5k this weekend, and i'm afraid of hurting myself further.  tomorrow i will take the day off to rest up for saturday.  anxious to see how i do, its going to be cold, and i haven't run the full distance.  but its really more about the charity, not going to be disappointed at all no matter what i do, and my main focus will be if my leg starts hurting to suck it up and just walk!  so thats really it, boring! 


as far as all the other stuff, i'm hanging in there.  i lost the two lbs from the weekend plus another, so i am at a total of 14 now, which is awesome.  right now, i definitely have a lot going on emotionally....baby stuff, grandma stuff, and not allowing myself to become overwhelmed with this whole endeavor.  but as long as i am not eating to cope, and i keep up my workouts, it'll all come together someday.  and who knows, maybe one day i'll actually call up a friend, or tell mike i need to talk about something, instead of keeping it in or writing about it in a blog.  he'll probably pass out.  


well wish me luck for saturday....and mostly that my stupid leg doesn't get worse!

kara & fran to the rescue :)

i woke up this morning wanting to delete the post i made last night, but figured that i should keep it up because that is how i was feeling and it doesn't go away just because i deleted the post.  and why shouldn't my friends know the real me, the complete emotional disaster that is me???  i revel in feeling sorry for myself, not a good trait, but one that is a part of me nonetheless.  so it is good that i have people i know who post videos of a man doing an Ironman event with his handicapped son to put things back into perspective for me.  i wish i could post the video to my page but the video didn't have a link, like to youtube so i couldn't figure out how to do it.  it was amazing and inspiring.  what a great father.  so thank you kara for that and knocking me out of my funk!


also big props to another fab friend who is always worrying about me and calling me up to see if i'm all right and who is always there to pass along good advice and be my makeshift mom haha :)  what was it that she said?  i need to stop being so hard on myself, focus on what i have done so far and not what i haven't done (like be happy about the weight i've lost and not what i haven't lost), organize and get my house ready for selling when i'm feeling like eating (love my anal type A friends), oh yeah, and have another baby if thats what i want and don't not do it because i'm afraid.  that last one is going to be tough....i'll start with the first couple of things and go from there!!  


so a better day today.....and i re-lost one of those lbs. 

grrrrrrrr

ugh ugh ugh.  that is my mood today.  feeling crappy, sorry for myself and all around pathetic.  so where do i start.  well, gained 2 lbs back this weekend.  i seriously can make no mistakes.  can't enjoy myself at all.  its really fucking annoying.  friday night, had some friends over, didn't overdo it, worked out saturday morning for about an hour and 15 mins, saturday again, hung out with friends, was good with the eating, but drank some beer at night.  sunday had my MIL's bday dinner.  had shrimp cocktail for app, no bread, whole wheat fusilli with veg's, no dessert except fruit.  no alcohol.  and despite making mostly good choices given the situations, i still gained back 2 lbs.  even a little bit of straying has too big of an effect.  so now this week i will be trying to lose the same 2 lbs i already lost, which really sucks.  


now all the emotional bullshit starts to set in.  the frustration.  the anger.  it doesn't take much.  i mean, yesterday was a good day in that i saw a lot of family, people were telling me they could see i've lost weight, so that made me feel good.  then i weigh myself this morning and its all forgotten.  thing is i weigh so much that i can't afford to go backwards.  its hard enough to accept how much weight i need to lose, know how long its going to take, and stay emotionally stable enough to stick with it.  and then it just makes me hate myself for even getting myself to this point in the first place.  but how can i complain, i did it to myself.  yes, i was depressed, but i didn't have to eat myself to the size of two people.  fuckin fuck.  


see the thing is i am not good at talking about my feelings.  when something is bothering me i keep it in, because honestly i just don't like to talk about stuff.  mike has been trying to change me for 15 years with no luck.  so its probably safe to say i will always be this way.  i have not always been overweight my whole life, but for some reason as an adult eating has become my coping mechanism.  i am actually struggling right now because i have been really sad about the baby situation.  just thinking about what the baby would be doing right now, how happy abby would be to have a little brother or sister, and being able to be around my sister-in-law and my best friend without having that twinge of jealousy/sadness.  sometimes its hard for me to even play with the babies because i'm afraid i might cry.  sometimes i'm ok.  it fluctuates.  my niece just had her 1st birthday, and my friend's baby will be 1 in may, same as my baby would have.  so its these little milestones that start to set me back.  but what can i do.  it is what it is.  


wow major bummer post today.  sorry folks.  hoping i can wake up tomorrow in a much better mood and feel more motivated than i do right now.  

5K test

beautiful day today!  i took advantage of the weather and did an outdoor run.  saturday the 26th i'm doing my first 5K in years, and i wanted to see how i would do.  i did so much better than i thought i would do, i actually amazed myself haha.  like i said before, running outside on the road is more difficult than running on the treadmill,  and the most i've really run on the treadmill consecutively is about 2 miles.  today i ran 2.25 miles straight without stopping!  the last .85 miles i alternated between walking and running, but i ran more than i walked.  so hopefully i shouldn't do too bad at the race.  i mean, i did the full 3.1 in 40 mins, so the time isn't great....the last 5K i did in 30 mins and 33 sec....but if i run more than i walk i should definitely finish in less than 40, and i'll take it!  the next 5K i'm doing is at the end of may, so i should improve by then.  


i tell ya though, the process of this whole thing really is exasperating.  still trying to push away the negative thoughts that always bring me to self-sabotage, but damn is it frustrating.  definitely too much a part of the instant-gratification-generation.  i am really thankful for my friends who give me so much support and offer great advice.  one particular friend recently said how the journey (towards my goal of the tri) is just as important as the goal, if not more.  so true.  these next few months are so important, because i am doing what i need to do to make myself healthy, feel good about myself, and incorporate lifestyle changes that i plan on keeping forever.  things that i know realistically can not be accomplished in a week or two.  sooooo i trudge on.  luckily i really am enjoying it.  the variety is fun.  


guess thats it for now.  i'm sure you will all be on pins and needles waiting for the next entry :)

progress is good

so this was a big weekend for me!  first of all i wake up sunday morning to find out i have finally reached the 10lb weight loss mark.  and since i didn't do much on saturday, i decided to get a swim in sunday.  i was itching for a good swim since my last two outings were not very good.  and i did great, swam 30 laps!  with less rest time in between each lap also. the max i rested was probably 30 seconds, most being between 10 and 20 secs, and when i could i did two consecutively.  still working on that, its tough.  but 30 laps is more than the length of what i have to swim in the tri.  so i was quite happy with that :)  


now if you want to hear a funny yet totally disgusting story, continue reading this paragraph.  if not, you should skip.  so although i am improving with my swimming, i am still getting the breathing coordination thing down, and every once in a while i swallow some water.  which in and of itself totally disgusts me given my hatred for public pools.  so yesterday i swallow a huge gulp of water at the end of a lap, start to gag, and then throw up in my mouth.  now, i can't spit it back into the pool, and i'm in the middle of the lanes, where there is no ladder, so to swim to a ladder and then run to a bathroom would've taken way too long with puke in my mouth.  sooo i had to swallow it.  absolutely disgusting.  other than that little snafu the swimming was good :)  aren't you glad you continued reading???  


ANYWAYS, for dinner sunday night mike made his famous zuppe di pesce, which is amazing.  and he gets this fabulous italian bread from wegman's.  plus my father in law brings over two pies, donuts and black and white cookies.  (for 6 friggin adults btw.  excessive???  and you wonder why we all have weight problems!)  my point is that i only had one piece of that wonderful bread, and NONE of the desserts.  damn proud of myself i was.  i probably could've had a small piece of dessert, but now that i'm seeing denise on mondays, and she weighs me, i wanted to still be at that 10lb mark.  and i wanted to prove to myself that i can say no.  i def think that seeing her on mondays is going to be really good for me.  it will keep me more accountable on the weekends.  in the past i have had a bad habit of doing good during the week and then ruining it all on the weekends.  AND what reward did i get for my awesome behavior on sunday night???  loss of another 1.5 lbs!!   woo-hoo!  so i'm down almost 12.  


now, yesterday, when i weighed myself, and saw i had lost the 10, initially i was excited of course.  but in my usual self-sabotaging way, i start to have fleeting thoughts like, oh big deal, you have so much more to lose, you're still really fat, blah blah blah.  however, i am managing these thoughts much better than usual.  its crazy how something positive can be turned into something negative in the blink of an eye with me.  i am definitely awful to myself.  but like i said i think i am handling these thoughts ok, and trying to remind myself that yes, i still have a long road ahead, but as long as i don't sabotage myself, i will continue to make progress and eventually i will be where i want to be.  so mentally this is what i'm working on...with each step forward, not to take 3 steps back.  


also, thanks to people who make comments on my posts.  since i only have like 5 followers haha, i always comment back when someone leaves one.  so if you have made one, check back because i probably left one back for you.  thanks again to my friends and family for all your support!

Yay 10 lbs gone! FOREVER!!!!

new plan

i knew this was going to be tough, and maybe it sounds dramatic, i know people go thru much more difficult physical struggles (lauren), but days like these i just feel like quitting.  and its my own fault, i haven't taken a proper day off since last thursday.  so right now i'm feeling tired, crappy, defeated, scared about this damn event, and just wanting to up and quit.  seriously, i feel like crying.  again, not trying to sound dramatic at all.  i just think putting your body thru so much physically takes a toll on your emotions as well.  


feeling like i needed to restructure a bit, i went online and found a triathalon training program that i think will help me out.  it lays out a specific training schedule, with rest days built in.  i initially was going to do this, but i wanted some flexibility because i felt it would fit better with my lifestyle.  and although i am working out a lot, and doing all three things (swim, run, bike)on a regular basis, i am not sure if its the proper way to train after all.  i like the way the program is set up, and i think it would actually work out and fall in line with my regular daily schedule.  so starting monday i am going to start this new program and see how it goes.  and hopefully it will help to keep me from overdoing it to the point where i am feeling like this.  because obviously i can't quit, that is not an option.  so, tomorrow will be a definite day off, and sunday if the weather is looking nice maybe a lite bike ride.  and most importantly i have to stay positive and keep telling myself that this is not too much for me to handle, i'm one tough bitch ;)

nike's suck!--haha kara that's for you--just kiddin' :)

so who needs a day off??  i felt good this morning, and really needed to get a run in, and since yesterday pretty much was a throwaway day, i decided to go get my workout on this AM.  did some interval running for 35 minutes and then and hour total body class.  i feel like i'm struggling a bit with the running.  not terribly, but i just wish it was easier to get back into!  it sucks when you used to be so good at something, and now i really have to push myself to do even a mile without stopping.  the interval running (where you run for several minutes in a row, then walk 1 or 2 mins, then repeat) is really good to build endurance, so i try to do those a couple of times a week.  and i can run more total minutes if i do it this way instead of trying to run all i can at once.  its all a slow process i guess.  


my shout out for the day goes to kara--who i found out is also a loyal follower :)  thanks girl!  and yes kara, def to each his own with the running shoes.  mike loves his nike's as well, and hates asics.  i think my present asics still have some life left in them so i'm going to hold off on the purchase of another pair for now.  


well i'm going to attempt another swim tomorrow AM and hopefully with better results!  and trying to decide when i'm going to take an actual day off.....!!

good friends :)

so first order of business...thanks to my friends fran, lauren and jenn who are still following my blog. yay :)  i know this because they have told me and/or are making comments.  much appreciated!  i don't even think mike has read my last few entries.  i just asked him and he lied and said yes.  jerk haha.  he "read it the other day".  uh-huh.  sure!   and denise, i think you are reading also, so thanks to you too :)


so brought back the evil nike's today, didn't get anything new.  prob going back to the trusty old asics which haven't failed me yet.  


today was day 6 in a row. was feeling good this morning, so decided it would just be a swim day.  i didn't know i was tired until i got into the pool!  after like 3 laps i knew it wasn't going to be a good performance.  so i only did 10, but thats ok.  at least i got thru some.  i should've known i was pushing it.  now i don't know whether or not i should take tomorrow off, but i didn't do much today so today was kind of a day off.  guess i'll see how i feel in the AM.  OH!!  good news, i went down a size in jeans!!  so happy to get rid of those....i was donating a bunch of stuff today and threw them in with the pile!!  hellsss yeah.  can't wait to be rid of all my fat clothes.  see, i miss the days when i could just get dressed every day, like probably most of you.  it takes me forever to get dressed some days.  i have to worry about the way everything looks, is my stomach sticking out too much, how big does my ass look, gotta hide my arms, blah blah blah.  so it'll be nice to just be able to get dressed like a normal person, and know i look smokin' in whateva i'm wearin' ;)   hahahaha i crack myself up.  

better day, except for the f'n nike's and annoying singing lady!

so about that little pound....its gone, and then some.  yay :)  yes, i know you're not supposed to weigh yourself every day, but i had a really good day yesterday, trained with denise, so i just had to weigh myself this morning.  i am very close to 10lbs.  i'm thinking by the end of this week.  i ran great yesterday, on the treadmill, but my distance and endurance were much improved.  HOWEVER.....stupid fucking nike's.  so mike and i went out saturday to princeton, had a lovely day, and we stopped in the princeton running store to get new sneakers.  the guy brings me out a few different kinds, including one pair of nike's. i haven't worn nike for years because they always caused me problems, so i was very hesitant.  but when i tried them on, they felt like pillows under my feet.  i was like, ok ok, i'll take the nike's!  wore them on the treadmill yesterday, and what do you know, today i'm getting pain in my feet and a little in my shins.  should've stuck with my damn gut instinct.  nike's suck!  i love their clothing, but their shoes just blow.  at least that's been my experience.  so back to the damn store my pretty purple and silver pillow sneakers go.  oh well!!  


one more thing.  i have to complain about someone at the gym.  and denise, if you read this, you might know who i'm talking about, and sorry if you like her!!  i don't know her name, but she is friggin obnoxious.  she goes to like every spin class offered every day, and she sings EVERY word of EVERY song, OUT LOUD.  and she's old but acts like she thinks she's young and cool.  and she's about as far from cool as you can get.  i'm sorry, yes, have some energy, but i don't want to hear her sing the whole class, i mean, who does that??  and she tries to look at you and get you to sing with her, like tonight she came in class after me and sat on the bike next to me, and the class was full by that time so i couldn't even change bikes.  i was soooo pissed.  i was like, this damn lady, not the singing spin lady!!!!  and i could see out of the corner of my eye that she was looking at me to sing with her and i'm like hellll nooo weirdo, i'm looking straight ahead.  whatever, maybe i sound like a bitch but seriously its just bothersome.  and i'm not exaggerating.  she sings out loud, like she's in chorus.  no shame whatsoever.  ahhhhh, venting is good haha.  


so thats it, going to bed now!

booooo

gained a pound :(   


damn.  


sucks.  


oh well.  


my fault.  


move on.  

food issues

i'm so tired.  and hungry!  i have to say, i am having some major food issues this weekend.  meaning, i want to eat everything bad i possibly can!  we went out to eat saturday night, and i ordered chicken with baked beans and baby carrots, which was the healthiest looking option on the menu.  it was very good, which probably means it wasn't too healthy, but i did my best.  no dessert of course.  but all i wanted the whole time was abby's grilled cheese which looked amazing, and her fries.  and i'm not going to lie, when mike got up to go to the bathroom, i had a bite of her sandwich and a couple of fries.  uuggghhhh.  i haven't really been having crazy cravings where it lead me to cheat, so of course i was extremely disappointed in myself.  and all day today all i thought about was food.  i ate very healthy though, nothing bad at all, made stir fry for dinner, blah blah blah.  but my its my thoughts that scare me.  i have to stay on track, and i worry about these damn cravings.  i have to really check out some weight watchers recipes this week that are similar to what i am craving, and see if that helps at all.  


other than that, went back to the psycho spin class this morning, but it was a different instructor.  still a very hard class, and i did great.  i think i had that little snack from abby's plate in the back of my mind, had to work really hard!  


so this week my goal is to get this food thing under control by checking out some new recipes.  and of course work my ass off.  literally.  

if you never did, you should. these things are fun, and fun is good!

ok, so i'm obsessed with this quote.  i had it as my fb status today too.  but its so great!  i truly believe that everyone should try something that is out of the box for them, something they never thought they would or could do.  never in a million years would i have thought i'd be training for a triathalon.  and i'm seriously excited about it.  i can't wait to see what my next endeavor will be after this one!


so yesterday i went on a shopping spree at target (imagine that!) to get some new sports bras, workout tees and capri's.  they carry champion brand, which i thought was pretty good.  i don't really want to splurge on nike or another expensive brand yet when hopefully i won't fit into the larger sizes soon.  now, i'm a sweaty bastard when i work out (just ask denise!!), and these bras and tees are supposed to be the dry-fit wicking kind.  ummm, yeah, i was still a sweaty disaster after spin this morning.  so i don't know if its just b/c champion is a cheaper brand, or there is no dry-fit technology that can help me!  i guess i will have to experiment with a couple of other brands.  its seriously embarrassing how much i sweat.  


tonight mike and i cashed in on our reward treat for losing at least 5 lbs in february.  we went to cold stone.  oh how delish.  but i was good and only got the "like it" size cookie mintster in a cup, which only had the ice cream, hot fudge and one oreo cookie, so it wasn't loaded with all the other fabulous toppings you can get.  so not too bad.  i like that we are doing this reward thing, because i pretty much hate eating healthy.  but i can stave off my cravings if i know there is something ahead in the future to look forward to.  so of course i will work out a little harder tomorrow but i don't care because i got to eat ice cream tonight!!!!!!  

days off rule!

ahhhhh....a day off today.  after four very tough workout days in a row, it was much needed.  yesterday morning, denise, my trainer (who i previously referred to as D. reason i was only using first initials for people's names are because of the fact there really is no security/privacy on these blog things, at least that i know of.  but she said she didn't care if i said her first name.)  anyways, denise took me outside for a run, which was really nice.  i love running outside, and its WAY harder than running on a treadmill.  which is good because i need to build up my stamina for outside running since races are not inside on a treadmill!  plus of course she made me do some other stuff but overall it was a good workout.  then, about an hour or so later, i started feeling really crappy.  just really worn down and blah.  it was weird, it felt like my body needed something but i wasn't sure what.  and i felt like that all the way until i went to bed.  i decided to make a dr. appt next week to talk to him about making sure i am getting all the vitamins and nutrition i need while i am training for this thing.  worse thing about yesterday was after i started feeling crappy, i all of a sudden became very discouraged.  like i wasn't really going to be able to do this thing.  i got very cranky, ask mike haha.  but he's good at getting me back on track.  he's my rock :)  


good day off, rested my sore body. back to the grind tomorrow.  spin in the AM and weights afterwards.  and my little cutie has her yoga class.  we heart the Y.  

things that go through my head

i've been writing my posts at night, and last night i was just so friggin tired i couldn't even think straight.  yesterday was a great day at the gym!  i swam 22 laps, which is the most i've done so far.  don't get too excited, other than the first two, i take about a 20-30 second break in between each lap.  swimming is one tough workout!  and i know i'm done when i start swallowing water because my breathing is all out of rhythm.  so before i drown i make that my last lap!  and thankfully i can swim during the morning, because the lifeguards are adults.  i don't trust the teenagers that work at night.  i mean, they're teenagers.  one time when A was taking swim lessons at another Y, i actually saw one of the lifeguards sleeping in the chair.  while there were children in the water.  anyways i'm digressing!  so then after my fabulous swim i did the hill program on the bike for 30 mins.  and that was about good for me for the day!  but i felt great afterwards!  

oh, plus i weighed myself in the AM and lost another 1.6 lbs!  woo-hoo.  actually, its a funny story.  so although its plainly obvious that i'm significantly overweight, i haven't actually told mike how much i weigh.  and we are doing this contest together to lose weight, we have to lose at least 5 lbs a month and we get to treat ourselves to something at the beginning of the next month.  (we both made it this month!)  so yesterday was march 1st, weigh-in day.  he was in the shower when i got on the scale, and seeing that i lost another 1.6 lbs made me excited that i actually said the number that was on the scale (so not ready to reveal that to the entire world), and then said yay!!  so of course he heard me, and i was like, shit, i just told you how much i weigh!!  it was kind of funny.  also, i thought about that afterwards, and i was like, wow, i must be in a good place.  i said "yay" after that number.  and that number is horrendous!  so to say "yay" after that must mean i'm feeling good about myself!!  

i had a funny thought as i was driving home from the gym.  i've always had big boobs.  and i know when you lose weight they get a little smaller, but is all this swimming going to make them a lot smaller??  i hope not.  you never see swimmers with big boobs.  i'm not sure how i would deal with that.  no offense to my smaller-chested followers, of course.  

well today i have training.....waaahhhhh.  love u D :)  btw, she does rule.  she writes me the nicest stuff.  so do my close friends.  love all of u too!  so more later if i don't die today.