My inspiration with a great post....

We have a bad day--or a bad couple of days...

And it pulls us down. Hard.

There have been many times in the past two years of this voyage when I’ve had some very depressed episodes over a few days of eating poorly. Some negative attitudes will occasionally perpetuate themselves—ultra guilt-trips after a couple missed training runs.

A weigh-in or two that doesn’t go the right way. A pound or two gain. Or even the “just a pound” loss.

We beat ourselves up even worse than we did when this was our life.

But it still is our life. And we have to remember that these two or three day binges used to be the norm. Grab our belt and see how many notches we’ve carved out. Step on that scale again and realize how many pounds you’ve shed. Try on that XXXL shirt that used to be a little tight. Now it could be your blanket.

We can’t let the failures of success keep us from trying to be successful. We’ve come too far to let it stop us now.

Just put down the burger finish the burger—you deserve it—and then go for that scheduled four-miler today.

that was a post from the blog that i follow, www.bendoeslife.tumblr.com.  he is basically the guy that got my ball rollin'.  you should seriously check out his story, his blog is waayyy more interesting than mine!!  anyways, i just love this because its just so true, and attitude really is the biggest battle of the whole process.  as you can tell, my mental state is pretty unstable haha, and i'm always getting caught up with the emotional downfalls, and sink into self-pity.  no good ever comes from that.  so i just wanted to share that little piece as it speaks volumes to me!

today i did well at the gym, biked 12.4 miles in 50 minutes....last time i did 11 miles in 50, so i was happy with that!  swimming is just swimming i guess, i am doing better i think, but who knows, my form just always feels off, i have no idea if i'm swimming right!!  and the pool is just grossing me out.  they really need to clean the bottom.  i swear there is stuff growing down there.  whatever, when i go on vacation next week, i will be swimming in the ocean, and that will be a true test of the progress i've made.  i won't really know how far i've gone, but at least i will be able to see how long i can go without stopping.  in the race, i have 30 minutes to complete the swimming part.  if i compare that to the times for the bike and run, it seems like i should have a lot of time.  for instance, the bike limit is 2 hours, and so far i am doing more than half in less than an hour.  so it seems like i should have a lot of leftover time, right??  so maybe the swim will be like that too, and i will have plenty of time to complete it without getting disqualified.  yep, panicking again!  i told ya, when i really start to break it down i get nervous.  ok well enough analyzing, don't want to think about that anymore. 

well mike just told me i'm babbling so i guess i'll stop writing now.  dick.