laaazzzyyyyy!

ugh so i sat around and did jack shit while abby was at school today!  not even a lick of housework.  oh wait, i put chicken in the crockpot.  there, i did something!  but i will get my butt to the gym later this evening. i really hate working out at night, but i have left myself no choice today.  sooo need someone to light a fire under my ass this week!!  


on a brighter note i lost another 1.8 lbs, so 15 lbs in total!  

need sleepy

i am so incredibly exhausted but i am just going to write a few quick things.  definitely having a tough time with my motivation this week!!  i don't know what it is!  i mean, i haven't been sleeping that great for some reason, so its making me tired during the day.  i just did not want to work out today at all.  idk, maybe its just normal.  i guess i am not going to be all pumped to work out every day.  it's definitely hard to keep up the pace sometimes.  5-6 days per week at the gym isn't easy to do week after week.  and i actually feel like i need to step up my workouts a bit.  not more often, but more intensity when i am working out.  but i'm soooooo friggin tired!  probably just a small rut.  i swam and biked today.  my swimming felt sloppy, but i managed to get 26 laps in.  bike was a little slow at first but i got a second wind about 15 minutes in and finished strong.  who knows, maybe i just need a good night of sleep.  that would probably help!  so i'm going to bed now, and hopefully i will get some much needed sleep so i get a good run in tomorrow!

another monday, another ass-kicking!

denise kicked my ass today.  end of story.  and i almost cancelled on her like 20 times!  i was still a little sore and feeling like wussing out haha, and i knew denise would not give a crap if i was tired and sore.  and what a surprise, she didn't give a crap!!  as she shouldn't :)  bike, run, and another crazy strength training circuit.  i literally rolled off of the ball onto the floor, and finally she ended the torture.  we had a good laugh though because she was having me do these leg lifts on the ball and i couldn't lift my leg and kept falling and then i would start laughing and she would start laughing.  anything to buy me a few seconds of rest :)  so provided i can move tomorrow i will swim and bike.  


and can we pleeeaaassseee get some nice friggin weather so i can start biking outside??  i'm so tired of the cold :(  

frozen butt

i forgot to say my funny story in my post yesterday.  after the race i kept telling mike how frozen my butt felt, and he thought i was crazy.  so on the car ride home, i turned on the seat heater, thinking it would help.  my ass was so cold i couldn't even feel the heat!  i actually thought it wasn't working.  it was about a 40 minute drive home and i never really felt the heat coming from the seat.  so later on when we went out again, the heater switch was still on, and the heat was so hot i had to turn it down.  i was like, holy shit, how frozen was my ass earlier, the seat got so hot right now i had to turn it down, but earlier i couldn't even feel it!  anyway i thought that was funny.  


pretty tired and sore today, so just resting up.  have my training tomorrow.  

who walks during a 5k???

big day today that definitely boosted my spirits!  had the 5k this morning and ran the whole race!  it was fucking cold too, but the sun was shining and it really was a beautiful course.  it started at bar A, went through the neighborhood, went around a lake and down by the shore, then back thru the neighborhood to end at bar A.  I didn't even know there was a lake in belmar haha.  definitely want to go back down there when the weather gets nicer.    the lake was pretty big, and i remember being on the one side, looking to the other side and thinking there was no way i was going to make it continuously running.  but my competitive nature took over and decided there was no way in hell i was stopping.  plus it helps when there are other people around you, you tell yourself ok, i should be going faster than that person, they're fat/old so you need to pass them, etc.  however, towards the end, there was a girl that was walking close to me, and i was jogging and could not pass her!!  finally i pulled away but it took a little while.  the whole time i was thinking, helloooo, this girl next to you is WALKING.  you need to go a little faster!  granted she was speed walking, but jeesh i need to be running faster than a walking pace!  the end was tough though.  my legs were starting to get heavy, my chest was feeling tight, and i literally started talking to myself out loud.....c'mon, you can do this, finish it, only a couple more blocks.  some guy passed me, laughed and gave me the thumbs up haha.  then i saw mike walking back towards me and he ran with me the rest of the way encouraging me to keep going!  that was awesome.  so my final time was 41:23.  not great, and you do lose a little time at the start before the crowd disperses, but its ok, i ran the whole thing which was what i really wanted.  of course i had to complain a little to mike later on in the day i was disappointed in my time.  he just tells me i should shut up and be happy with myself for once :)  


so overall great first event in this training process.  next sunday i have my first tri taste.  the Y is doing a mini-tri.  10 laps, 6 miles on the bike and 2 miles running on the treadmill.  should be fun, and it'll keep me motivated to have a good week.  


oh, and regarding my comment about passing "old" people, there was a 61 year old man who finished in 24 minutes, and a 66 year old woman who finished in 33 minutes.  that is awesome!!  

hangin' in

well almost the end of another week.  this was kind of a slow one for me.  i know i have been focusing a bit on some emotional stuff and not talking about my work-outs that much.  last week after i did my 5k outside, my inner-thigh started hurting, and then of course my little drunken tom cruise slide into my family room did not help it much!  so by monday it was feeling a little better, and i decided to give running a try on the treadmill.  did 2 great miles, straight running, and then pain.  tried to run thru it but it wasn't happening.  i walked for a little more, then stretched really well afterwards.  tuesday would've been a swim/bike day but i was afraid to bike, so i just swam.  did really well, 28 laps, and getting a little faster with my strokes.  wednesday i had denise, and when she heard about my leg she would not let me run, so we did the bike and a CRAZY circuit!  denise is nuts i swear, but i love her :)  today my leg was a bit sore so i just did the elliptical for 35 minutes.  reason i'm being so easy this week is because i have that 5k this weekend, and i'm afraid of hurting myself further.  tomorrow i will take the day off to rest up for saturday.  anxious to see how i do, its going to be cold, and i haven't run the full distance.  but its really more about the charity, not going to be disappointed at all no matter what i do, and my main focus will be if my leg starts hurting to suck it up and just walk!  so thats really it, boring! 


as far as all the other stuff, i'm hanging in there.  i lost the two lbs from the weekend plus another, so i am at a total of 14 now, which is awesome.  right now, i definitely have a lot going on emotionally....baby stuff, grandma stuff, and not allowing myself to become overwhelmed with this whole endeavor.  but as long as i am not eating to cope, and i keep up my workouts, it'll all come together someday.  and who knows, maybe one day i'll actually call up a friend, or tell mike i need to talk about something, instead of keeping it in or writing about it in a blog.  he'll probably pass out.  


well wish me luck for saturday....and mostly that my stupid leg doesn't get worse!

kara & fran to the rescue :)

i woke up this morning wanting to delete the post i made last night, but figured that i should keep it up because that is how i was feeling and it doesn't go away just because i deleted the post.  and why shouldn't my friends know the real me, the complete emotional disaster that is me???  i revel in feeling sorry for myself, not a good trait, but one that is a part of me nonetheless.  so it is good that i have people i know who post videos of a man doing an Ironman event with his handicapped son to put things back into perspective for me.  i wish i could post the video to my page but the video didn't have a link, like to youtube so i couldn't figure out how to do it.  it was amazing and inspiring.  what a great father.  so thank you kara for that and knocking me out of my funk!


also big props to another fab friend who is always worrying about me and calling me up to see if i'm all right and who is always there to pass along good advice and be my makeshift mom haha :)  what was it that she said?  i need to stop being so hard on myself, focus on what i have done so far and not what i haven't done (like be happy about the weight i've lost and not what i haven't lost), organize and get my house ready for selling when i'm feeling like eating (love my anal type A friends), oh yeah, and have another baby if thats what i want and don't not do it because i'm afraid.  that last one is going to be tough....i'll start with the first couple of things and go from there!!  


so a better day today.....and i re-lost one of those lbs.